


stultus.

by orphxus (impxria)



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: F/M, Gender-neutral Reader, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-08
Updated: 2016-01-08
Packaged: 2018-05-12 13:22:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,080
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5667577
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/impxria/pseuds/orphxus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <span class="small">only fools fall for you.</span>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	stultus.

Two years since he’s last seen you.

College has been a blur; things move by too quickly and assignments constantly pile on. The stress builds and bottles up to the point where there’s no room to breathe-- no room to even think properly.

But when he sees you again, it’s a breath of fresh air.

Summer is welcomed without reluctance; it’s a well earned break from school and the worries about the future can temporarily be pushed aside for the present-- for now, for the moments that you can finally feel okay without having this lingering pressure in the back of your mind. There is nothing due-- there is nothing that you can start early on for the future and knowing that makes you feel better than ever.

And seeing him again--

You smile when footsteps enter the cafe and the first thing your eyes catch is that familiar mess of hair.

“Two years.”

It’s all you can say when he rises from his seat and approaches you with open arms.

And there’s that mischievous grin that brings nostalgia.

“Two years too long.”

You laugh when his arms wrap around you.

**.     .     .**

He doesn’t want to see you every couple of years; he longs for the high school memories where he’d walk into class every day and see familiar faces. He longs to see you more than anything.

He doesn’t know when it started. He always thought falling in love was black and white-- but with you, it’s all gray. It’s muddled and hazy and he would give anything for it to be clear because it’ll always confuse him.

But when he sees you again, it becomes less cloudy. Less gray.

And he doesn’t know how he feels about that.

He had hoped that those feelings would fade with time, but they haven’t and he doesn’t know if they ever will. There’s always a constant pondering of whether things would have been different if he had confessed during your third year and regret follows curiosity. Fear took hold of him and courage fled-- but if only he had hung onto it for a little longer, just a _bit_ longer, then maybe he would be the one at your side.

Not the other person.

“It was nice seeing you again.”

A drop of coffee clings to the rim of the cup and he’s suddenly reminded of your old study dates at the local cafe. 

“Are you still with them?”

You pause at the question and there’s this unexplainable hesitance that comes over you. His voice is flatter than usual and his stare is unwavering, hazel eyes never failing to capture your attention. The simple answer is on the tip of your tongue; lips part and nothing comes out. You know approval was never truly given; you were never oblivious to Kuroo’s weary gazes and little remarks towards your partner, even if Kenma did his best to try to distract you from them. 

He knows of the fights you’ve had. He remembers late night phone calls with you sobbing on the other line.

He’ll never forgive. He’ll never forget. 

Even if it was just rough times. Even if it was just the ups and downs that every relationship has.

You wonder if he ever gave them another chance.

Bitterness comes and you inhale deeply before a forced smile crosses roseate lips.

“Yeah.”

The drop of coffee falls onto the table.

He wishes he had told you.

**.     .     .**

Three in the morning and harsh knocks on the door-- he’s alert and startled; the grogginess disappears from lazy features and muscles tense when fingers rest on the handle. Every instinct tells him it’s you-- because _damn it_ , you’ve been hurt again.

How much longer? 

How much longer, he thinks, will you push and pull in this relationship?

He opens the door--

and there you are, tears trailing down a face that should never have that broken look.

He never wants to see it again.

**.     .     .**

Kuroo is surprised that you still have his address saved. You only came to his apartment once when you were last in town, but here you are now, your cries resonating in the place he calls home. Words haven’t been exchanged and you’re secure in his arms. You know this is wrong, so why--

Why don’t you leave? Why do you always come running back to him?

His chin rests on your head and he remains silent; heartbeat meets heartbeat and the ache in his chest grows with the grief you hold. The apartment is dim and you’re both grateful-- grateful because you don’t want him to see you like this, grateful because he doesn’t know what he’ll do if he keeps seeing that defeated expression.

He doesn’t know what happened this time but he knows that you’ve been hurt enough. You’ve been through enough and he knows damn well that you don’t deserve any of it; you’ve done everything you can to make it a happy relationship but your partner finds problems in even the smallest things.

And he thinks about the instances during your last year at Nekoma where he almost told you. He thinks about how close you were yet so far away-- but right now, you’re here and he doesn’t want to lose this chance again.

“I think I love you.”

His voice is as strong as always, but his stomach churns and he almost regrets the confession. Take it back-- tell them you only meant it as a friend. Tell them you’re lying.

_Tell them you’re a coward._

His eyes sting and silence wraps its hands around his throat.

You’ve always known. You’ve always known he’s loved you, but you’ve always been afraid-- you don’t want to ruin this friendship. You don’t want to ruin everything you’ve had for the past few years. You don’t dare risk it for the possibility of his happiness because broken hearts never heal easily.

You can save him now. Hurt him now so you don’t in the future.

You cry harder and his arms tighten around your frame.

He needs to let you go but you don’t want him to-- what if this is the last time you see him? 

What if you lose him?

Hands clutch tighter onto the cloth of his shirt and tears seep into the fabric.

“You can’t.” You choke out; the words are harsher than you expect and you wish you never had to say them. “You can’t, Kuroo.”

He smiles a sad smile.

“I know.”


End file.
